Jesse ‘Boots Electric’ Hughes: I’ll go on record with this: I love Britney Spears. I think she’s great. I really do. I don’t think anyone has the right to look down on her. She’s accomplished more shit simply as a performer than most people will accomplish in their actual lives. Hold on a second, dude, my mother’s on the other line. Let me just tell her to stop calling. [One minute passes.] Hello? Dude, my mom’s so rad. She’s like, “You’re doing an interview with The Onion? Awesome!” See, we love The Onion.
I have every Britney Spears album ever made, and I ain’t ashamed of that. She gets the best producers and songwriters money can buy, and puts them to work on her albums. That sounds like a pretty good production effort to me. And she’s got hot tits and a wonderful ass and she likes to make herself beautiful, just for me. If somebody puts on Britney Spears and you ain’t dancing, it’s probably because you’re Stephen Hawking.
Indeed.